How Does This Happen?!

You guys, I am the world champion of losing socks in the laundry. WORLD CHAMPION. I don't just lose one or two socks every time I decide to do a few loads of wash, I lose A DOZEN. I don't...I just... How is this physically possible?! I mean, they have to be SOMEwhere!! They can't just vanish into thin air! A dozen socks?! And they're not just sports socks either--some of these are kind of expensive nice dress socks.

Universe, why do you toy with me like this? Is this some sort of twisted payback for not recycling enough? Accidentally running over that turtle when I was learning to drive? Developing a tendency to use at least three curse words per sentence on the rare occasions that I'm drunk? I'm sorry for those things. I need my socks. CUT IT OUT.